Wednesday, April 19, 2006

D is for Decompression

Dis of the DivorcedMen blog posted this past Easter Sunday about 'The Wonder'.

You should take a moment to read it, it is a strange place to be in, and only one who has left a horrible marriage can relate to.

People write about all the terrible things about divorce, how it harms children, and the like - all true. But they forget how very hate-full people become, and how great a positive force the ability to leave a hate-full spouse can be.

I remember suddenly, being able to keep my coats and boots and other personal posessions somewhere besides the small converted bedroom that I lived in for years.

I remember suddenly not having to remove garbage from my space that my hate-filled ex dumped in it every day.

I remember suddenly starting to think about how to decorate my space, what kind of art I wanted, if I wanted some kind of pet for my children to enjoy when they were with me.

I remember suddenly not having stress when I came home, but instead thinking 'what new thing will I cook myself tonight?' or 'maybe I will go out and try that new place'.

I remember suddenly having my children with me peacefully coloring, drawing, painting, playing, without an undertone of hatred constantly directed at me by my ex.

I remember my children consulting with me on setting up my new place.

I remember blooming again, living again.

I know what gets written here is dark, and unhappy as we protest the bias against men that is so prevalent in our culture and courts.

It is good for me to remember that I complain about the bias in an existence where I have my kids, where I have a beloved new spouse, and in spite of being enslaved, very poor, and frequently sued, I am also much, much happier and more fulfilled.

My best to you in your struggles.


Simulposted on MIsForMalevolent


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