NEW LAW COMING FROM CONGRESS -- AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

WASHINGTON, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation,which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With NoAbilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation byadvocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills orambition."Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence anddrive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves insociety," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allowPeople of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With thislegislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, whichhas a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard toperformance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack jobskills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.Private sector industries with good records of nondiscriminationagainst the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry(68%),and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has agreat record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it moredifficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatoryinterview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or"Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?""As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people whohave something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost herposition as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to herlack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of otheruntalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide eachand every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."