A work in progress from IntellectualConservative.com.
First draft - August 14, 2005
NOTE: This is a condensed version of a book that is being written on this subject. As the book is written, more will be added to this guide, until the book is ready for publication. Please stop back occasionally as we will be adding new material periodically, and will indicate when we do so. Since this guide is still in the process of being written, if you would like to share it with others, please give them the url instead of sending this article out in an email. Although this guide is geared to fathers, who are usually the most disadvantaged here, it can also be used to some extent by mothers who have been disadvantaged by the system. This guide is based on mostly anecdotal evidence from attorneys and others who have gone through the family court system, and should not be construed as legal advice.
Introduction
So you have a child with a soon-to-be ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, and you are wondering what is going to happen to your children. The first thing you need to be aware of is this: The laws and family court system are not set up fairly towards fathers. The laws are set up to award custody to the parent who has had the most involvement so far raising the child, which means the parent who has worked the least - this is virtually always the mother. This usually guarantees that the mother will receive custody of the child, and since child support is mandatory, that you will be paying several hundred dollars in child support to her each month. Now does this make sense? It only makes sense in the past, when you were still together – in a typical relationship, the mother worked less because she stayed at home more with the children, therefore it made sense at that time that she was with the children the majority of the time. But after you have both split up, and she no longer has the option of working less hours, and in fact must get a job that will most likely pay less than yours, why should she still be seen as more fit to take care of the children? If she is working full-time (or should be, since she is now single), and making less money than you, how does that qualify her as a better parent than you? If she is working full-time, she won't be able to spend any more time with the child than you if you are working full-time.
If you believe that you are the better parent, you need to read this guide and find out everything you need to know in order to have the best chance at obtaining full custody. If you choose not to get full custody of your child, not only are you in for a lifetime of emotional headaches but a lot of child support – which you will find does not all get spent on your child. It is almost impossible to get an accounting required of the money - only in extreme circumstances like blatant drug abuse by the mother will the court require a custodial parent to track what they spend their child support income on. The amount of child support you will end up paying as your child grows up is enough to buy a nice house. Let’s say you split u p with your ex, and you have two children together, ages 1 and 4. The court orders you to pay $500/mth per child, based on your $45,000/year income, until the children turn 21 (some states end child support when the child turns 18, and others require it through age 21 and beyond). By the time your children are grown, you will have paid $444,000 in child support. The main cost of raising a child is childcare; outside of childcare (which ends around age 12), do you really believe that $1,000 is being spent on your two children each month? If you think you are subsidizing your ex, you are right. The main reason why the system is set up this way? The government would rather have you subsidize her than pay for her going on welfare. And the feminists have convinced the lawmakers and judges in society that women shouldn't have to work to support their children if they don't feel like it.
See the original article in its entirety here.